"Play or not to Play"

OK, maybe I didn't get the memo or the directions, but when did it become such a mandatory part of courting to play all of these asinine mind games? It seems more and more these days that men and women are playing these fucking games that lead to nothing but drama.

If I wanted to play, I would, but we are grown ass people, games are for children. Leave it to the kids. This is such a juvenile state of mind. wow, are you fucking serious?? I mean, lets keep it real, if you are just looking for a hook up, don't tell the person that you want to get to know them better. If you just want to taste the milk without having to buy the cow, keep it real. If you want to keep things on the "DL", never going out in public but just between the sheets, keep it real. If you have absolutely no intentions of actually being in a relationship, keep it real.

I would much rather a man keep it real with me than to string me along in hopes that something might actually work out. With you being honest from the gate it at least gives me the opportunity to be involved with you or not. I think men would be very surprised to see that there are many women out there that might actually like the unconventional relationship. I know of many women that would rather be a friends with benefits rather than be in a relationship.

But seriously someone give me the insight on why men and women plays these silly, petty, juvenile games that lead to nothing but drama?

"Friends with benefits, can you handle it? "

Now I never knew what this "Friends with benefits", thing was until I was divorced and was approached by a male friend with this proposition. I looked at him with the " get the f__k away from me glare. I admit to not knowing what that was all about and now that I do, I laugh at how my inexperience was center stage... lol.

I can honestly say that I was hesitant of this friends with benefits status, only I know myself and if I truly like a man, I will be hooked and want more. I must say that sometimes I do have to talk myself out of making a fool of myself sometimes, reiterating to myself the verbal agreement that my male friend and I made. sometimes I secretly wish we never made such an agreement, but its been a minute and I have come to accept and actually enjoy the freedom to do what I want and date freely with no drama. Whenever we are in the same zip code its him and I and at this stage in my life I am cool with it.

I guess it depends on what you want in your life at that particular moment and if it is a situation that you can handle. It forced me to take a strong hard look at myself and see what i really wanted and I am glad to say that I am truly happy! Actually much happier than the last few years before I got divorced.

Friends with benefits, taboo or possible future reality for today' America?

" Should We or Shouldn't We? "

OK, I know this may come off as either a little prudish or down right whorish, but I must ask, " Is it really that bad if a female sleeps with a man she just went on one date with or just met? "

Again I will use myself as an example...I was married for 9 years and my ex-husband was my first love, in ever sense of the word. I lost my virginity with him and although I don't regret the decision I made at the time to have waited until I was 20 years old (yes I was that old) I do regret not have dated more before I met him. I think I would have had a better grasp as far as the whole dating and casual sex thing that goes on between men and women. Since my divorce in 2006 I have had some experiences I regret and some I am thankful for, but it wasn't until I met a very good male friend of mine that open my eyes to pride that I should have in myself and as long as I was comfortable in what I was doing, did I not see myself as a whore if I had a one night stand. I have met men that I was strongly attracted to and did have a one niter with. I see myself as just coming into my own, exploring and discovering myself being that I never had really dated when I was younger. So does this make me a whore if I was to go out with a male friend of mine and we end up being intimate because the mood was right? Or if I met a guy in a club and was so attracted to him physically that I went home with him and did the deed? I don't think so, but I guess as long as I don't have a problem with it, so be it.

So I ask you, Ladies, Gentlemen, Should we or shouldn't we?...

" Are You or Aren't You? "

This entry i will be speaking on behalf of myself, my own experience. I have met way too many men that can't seem to answer a somple question, " Are you or Aren't you single? " . call me crazy, but it seems to be a really easy question to answer that will either be a yes or no. i am not looking for, its complicated, kinda, what do you mean? are you serious? How much easier should I pose the question? Are you married? Do you have any children? Do you live with a female that you are romantically involved with?

I met this latest character at a Starbucks of all places and it seemed I kept bumping into him every time I went there. so he approached me and started conversation. He seemed nice and we exchanged phone numbers. on our !st phone conversation I asked him, "Are you single?". He answered me yes without hesitation. I took his word for it. It wasn't until we were deep in conversation talking about a potential date that he slipped and said to me, in reference to the topic of relationships, I am going through a rough separation now. " WHAT?!!" Did he just say separation? I took that to mean he was married. So i asked him and he then fessed up, " Its complicated". Its not that complicated, either you are or you are not single, but he was married and separated. I don't need to tell you I blocked his number and instructed to never call me again.

So I pose the question, Why do men and women have a hard time answering the question of their status?